We Don't Have to Talk
by thatswhyyyoudont
Summary: L x Light slash. Set when they are handcuffed. Light is feeling the strain one night and snaps. Canon compliant.
They have another big fight the day of Misa's big charity concert.

Misa had begged Ryuzaki weeks ago to allow Light to attend the concert, chains and all. Lots of her rivals would be there, she had pleaded. She needed him for the support. Light had been indifferent, tried not to look indifferent, and to his surprise, Ryuzaki had acquised, providing 'nothing crucial comes up.'

Nothing crucial had come up, and Light, exhausted with the case, throat and hands scratched from fighting, almost prayed that something would. He hated these things. He knows Misa will be showing him off to her friends, and his mouth will ache from fake-smiling all night and Ryuzaki will see it, will probably keep score of how many times he doesn't check his watch.

The sun sets as they leave, basking the city in a peaceful orange glow. Light wants to be back at the HQ, working in bed. Ryuzaki normally leaves him alone arond now, absorbed in whatever he does. He seems to work best in the evening.

Now, he talks to Light a lot in the limousine, pretending to be friendly (I've never been to a concert before), but really winding Light up, because Light knows Ryuzaki can always tell when he is in a bad mood. He knows Ryuzaki knows this, plays along anyway, as there is not much else he can do. The drive is longer than he expects, and he is about to tear his hair out when they arrive. The weather turned somewhere along the highway, and it lashes against the windows now. They get soaked in the short run from the limousine to the venue. It does nothing for Light's mood, especially when Ryuzaki mocks him gently (don't worry Light-kun, I'm sure Misa will still find you very handsome) as he tries to comb his drenched hair.

After Light has attempted to clean up, they are led to a private table not far from the stage. They are discreet about the chains,of course, but people still look still whisper. Ryuzaki doesn't seem to notice. Light grits his teeth. He is in hell.

Misa comes over then, and he has to drop it and force a smile and hug her. He feels Ryuzaki's eyes on him the whole time, seeing through his fake joy for her, his confidence as her friends eye the chains. It makes his blood beat in his ears. He is exhausted.

"You must be very proud of Misa Misa," Ryuzaki says, when they are alone again.

Light doesn't even grunt. He is trying not to break something.

"She even- "

"Stop," Light snaps.

Ryuzaki stares at him.

He hadn't meant to snap, knows Ryuzaki will love it if he does, but he can't help it. It comes out like a dam breaking.

"Just stop, OK? I am so tired of this. Do you think I believe all this bullshit about being your first friend? I am not your friend. I'm a suspect, so let's just leave it at that. We don't have to talk, we don't have to be friends, we don't have to even smile at each other. So just leave me alone."

Ryuzaki says nothing.

Even as the show goes on, and Light's temper quells, he still says nothing. He doesn't even hint at the Kira probability change that must be soaring in his head. He seems to have taken Light quite literally. Light glances over once or twice, but he can't really see him behind him hair. He wonders if he has hurt his feelings. _Good,_ he thinks, unconvincingly, even to himself.

He was supposed to be winning Ryuzaki's trust. It's exhausting, keeping up that front all the time.

Ryuzaki stays quiet after the show and during the long, long limo ride home. Light closes his eyes and tries to enjoy the peace. Snapping at someone is awkward enough, but being chained to them is another ball game all together. His heart goes out to Siamese twins everywhere.

It is not until they are in bed, changed out of their wet clothes and away from the cameras and the team, that Light, says, "I'm sorry."

Ryuzaki has opened his laptop the minute Light lay down, as he knew he would, and is typing furiously.

"It's all right," he says at once, like he knew it was coming, like Light knew he would. "You were right. There's no need to act friendly when you don't mean it. It must get exhausting."

"Ryuzaki…" Light says tiredly. He has no idea if he really has hurt the other man's feelings or not. He's not sure why he cares. "I was exhausted tonight. I didn't want to go."

Ryuzaki keeps typing. "So why didn't you tell Misa Misa?"

"I couldn't. I feel like I never do anything for her."

The truth is, he is so used to saying yes to everything, to going along with it all. He forgets how exhausting it can be.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun."

Light looks at him warily. He is still typing and his expression hasn't changed. It is difficult to tell whether he is mocking him or not.

"Of course you couldn't enjoy yourself with your girlfriend with me there. And, I apologise for it. I wouldn't enforce it unless I felt it absolutely necessary." He pauses, eyes flying across the screen as he reads. "On the very off chance that you are not Kira, I will make it up to you both, I promise. I'll even pay for the wedding."

Light winces, and Ryuzaki does look at him then, questioningly.

"Or…whatever you want," he amends.

Light turns over to get away from his eyes, those eyes that set him off in the first place. He can feel them on the back of his head. The chain digs into his side underneath him, but he can't be bothered righting it. After a moment, Ryuzaki resumes typing.

"But anyway, you were right," he says tonelessly. "We don't have to talk."

"If I was sure I wasn't Kira," Light says, before he can stop himself. "Things would be different."

Ryuzaki's fingers pause again. "Oh?"

 _If I was sure I wasn't Kira_ , he answers silently, _I'd have at least some hope for a kind of future with you._

When he doesn't respond, Ryuzaki resumes typing, and they don't speak again. The end feels a lot closer after that.


End file.
